Day one of the journey to Cambridge, England is almost in the history books. All in all, it’s been a pretty good day. Travel was not as mind numbing as it might have been—knee numbing, yes; mind numbing, no. I even made it through TSA PRECHK without having to remove belt, suspenders, garter belt, knee braces, my three pounds of bling (actually, I did have to toss the bling into a tray), or even my shoes.

Flight to Detroit was about 45 minutes. I de-planed at Gate A2 and had to make my way to Gate A69. Oy! But fear not, gentle reader. I used two moving walk-ways, one escalator, and the express tram to get to my gate. When I de-tramed, I was within 30 feet of my gate. Oh frabjous day! I barely broke a sweat.

The second leg of the flight to Buffalo was also a breeze. And there must have been a good one because we were on the ground in Buffalo 20 minutes early. So early that our gate was occupied by another plane, but the delay was about five minutes. We followed a storm front from Detroit to Buffalo. The pilot said, paraphrasing Bette Davis in All About Eve, “fasten your seat belts; you’re in for a bumpy ride.” No beverage service because of the turbulence. But, gentle reader, there was no turbulence. The ride into Buffalo was as smooth as a baby’s butt. But, speaking of buts, there was rain a plenty on the ground. Roads around the airport were closed due to flooding. The situation reminded me of a song by Johnny Cash: Five Feet High and Risin’.

My soon-to-be traveling partner, and host here in Buffalo, Dennis Ryan, was able to retrieve me without difficulty, however, and eventually we made our way to the Anchor Bar, skirting several more flooded roads, for Buffalo chicken wings. Twenty of the medium hot, thank you very much. An order of ten seemed too small, an order of 50 too excessive, but twenty was four too many. That, by the way, was twenty wings total, ten a piece.

I did somehow manage to lose my luggage claim check. I have no idea where it might be. Luckily, I did not need it.

Most enjoyably, the flight to Buffalo featured a flight attendant, the one who made all the announcements, whose voice was very much the voice of Marjorie Main in her iconic role of Ma Kettle. I wondered if she might not also look like Ma Kettle. As it turned out, she did. But, God bless her, she had Bette Davis eyes!



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